Living with the "but if not..."
My wife has recently been undergoing some medical issues, including numerous trips to have blood drawn, several trips to a doctor's office, a "procedure" in a hospital operating room, and finally (3 days ago), surgery. According to friends who have had a similar surgery, and her doctor, she can expect full recovery after a week or so of rest home and a month or two of generally feeling weary and tiring easily. I'm thankful that all appears to be well and this will soon be a memory for Jodi.
As always; the doctors came with thorough information including the "possibilities." It could have been "this or that." "All surgery has potential complications such as..." The likelihood of _____ is small, but I am required to mention it to you." Jodi signed all the papers dutifully and was wheeled away for her surgery. It's all so common that we simply come to expect that everything will be "fine." And it normally is. At one point during the process of the past month or so, Jodi mentioned that she was struggling with a bit of anger that the first procedure had not solved the problem. Ultimately, she recognized that she was struggling with anger at God because he didn't fix this. I understood that...I think most people would understand that feeling. We are frustrated or angry at God more often than we recognize and certainly more than we want to admit.
My thinking in the last few days has been along the lines of prayer and answers. I know all the theological positions we are to take, but I also know that we need to re-learn those things again and again. Honesty requires us to keep learning...as long as we are alive. Some of the lessons continue to come around again and this is one for this experience.
What if the situation that ultimately sent Jodi to surgery had been a symptom of a much more serious problem? What if one of those "possibilities" had happened during surgery? What if the pathology results had been positive? What if...? I know it's easier to talk about now that surgery is done and she is home recovering, but I thought I'd share my thoughts anyway.
I was reading in my devotions one morning recently in Daniel. I have read the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego many times. I have always watched in awe as the most powerful king in the then known world was proven to be impotent next to the God of the universe. They trusted God, which resulted in their unswerving obedience to him, and God delivered them out of the fiery furnace (complete with a personal visit with the pre-incarnate Jesus in the fire).
They believed God for their deliverance, and said so in Daniel 4:17. "Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, I king." They didn't only trust that God could deliver them, but that he would.
If we are not careful, we can translate that inappropriately to our daily lives. It's almost as if we put so much stock in the answer we are looking for, that we actually begin to trust more in the answer than in God himself. The three guys in Daniel 4 didn't make that mistake. They believed God for deliverance, but made it clear that even if things didn't turn out like they were anticipating, they would still obey God and keep their eyes on him. Here's how they said it after that great statement of confidence I quoted earlier: "...and he will deliver us...but if not, be it known to you that we will not serve your gods."
Those guys had it down. They believed God for deliverance, but their commitment to God and willingness to trust him completely did not depend on that deliverance. They had faith in God, not in the answer they were convinced he would give.
Years ago, I read a book entitled "Living by God's Surprises." It was about prayer. I don't even know if it's still in print, but the premise was that prayer is not so much designed to get answers from God as it is designed to get us into the flow of God's purposes. Sometimes the opposite of what we are hoping and praying for will be the best thing for God to get glory in our lives. As difficult as that is to accept, I need to get to the point that I embrace it. I need to be a man of faith and ask God for things that are so big, it will have to come from him. I also need to be such a man of faith that if he chooses not to do that, that I will still trust him completely.
This post is really long already, and it is unfinished, but I'll stop anyway. I'll still be learning this lesson and meditating on the incredible wisdom of God many years from now, so leaving this open-ended is probably a good thing anyway, right?
What are the things that help you face difficult seasons like this? Are there Scriptures that God has brought to your heart and mind to encourage your in those times?
As always; the doctors came with thorough information including the "possibilities." It could have been "this or that." "All surgery has potential complications such as..." The likelihood of _____ is small, but I am required to mention it to you." Jodi signed all the papers dutifully and was wheeled away for her surgery. It's all so common that we simply come to expect that everything will be "fine." And it normally is. At one point during the process of the past month or so, Jodi mentioned that she was struggling with a bit of anger that the first procedure had not solved the problem. Ultimately, she recognized that she was struggling with anger at God because he didn't fix this. I understood that...I think most people would understand that feeling. We are frustrated or angry at God more often than we recognize and certainly more than we want to admit.
My thinking in the last few days has been along the lines of prayer and answers. I know all the theological positions we are to take, but I also know that we need to re-learn those things again and again. Honesty requires us to keep learning...as long as we are alive. Some of the lessons continue to come around again and this is one for this experience.
What if the situation that ultimately sent Jodi to surgery had been a symptom of a much more serious problem? What if one of those "possibilities" had happened during surgery? What if the pathology results had been positive? What if...? I know it's easier to talk about now that surgery is done and she is home recovering, but I thought I'd share my thoughts anyway.
I was reading in my devotions one morning recently in Daniel. I have read the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego many times. I have always watched in awe as the most powerful king in the then known world was proven to be impotent next to the God of the universe. They trusted God, which resulted in their unswerving obedience to him, and God delivered them out of the fiery furnace (complete with a personal visit with the pre-incarnate Jesus in the fire).They believed God for their deliverance, and said so in Daniel 4:17. "Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, I king." They didn't only trust that God could deliver them, but that he would.
If we are not careful, we can translate that inappropriately to our daily lives. It's almost as if we put so much stock in the answer we are looking for, that we actually begin to trust more in the answer than in God himself. The three guys in Daniel 4 didn't make that mistake. They believed God for deliverance, but made it clear that even if things didn't turn out like they were anticipating, they would still obey God and keep their eyes on him. Here's how they said it after that great statement of confidence I quoted earlier: "...and he will deliver us...but if not, be it known to you that we will not serve your gods."
Those guys had it down. They believed God for deliverance, but their commitment to God and willingness to trust him completely did not depend on that deliverance. They had faith in God, not in the answer they were convinced he would give.
Years ago, I read a book entitled "Living by God's Surprises." It was about prayer. I don't even know if it's still in print, but the premise was that prayer is not so much designed to get answers from God as it is designed to get us into the flow of God's purposes. Sometimes the opposite of what we are hoping and praying for will be the best thing for God to get glory in our lives. As difficult as that is to accept, I need to get to the point that I embrace it. I need to be a man of faith and ask God for things that are so big, it will have to come from him. I also need to be such a man of faith that if he chooses not to do that, that I will still trust him completely.
This post is really long already, and it is unfinished, but I'll stop anyway. I'll still be learning this lesson and meditating on the incredible wisdom of God many years from now, so leaving this open-ended is probably a good thing anyway, right?
What are the things that help you face difficult seasons like this? Are there Scriptures that God has brought to your heart and mind to encourage your in those times?
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